you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize