i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
