she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
