This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
