You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My pussy is not your playground.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
