I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
handjob tips. give me some.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
