I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you never un-have a 4some
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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