Only a mothe r could love this liver
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
