I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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