We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
