I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Farmville is her only friend.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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