He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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