Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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