1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
