You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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