.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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