Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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