It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
