I CAN MOONWALK!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
