what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
