I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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