His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize