Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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