Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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