Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
