Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
