I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
