We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
