I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
