Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
