I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
