sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
