She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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