I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
