I cockslap morals
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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