I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
