I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
