Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize