It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
