So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
