Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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