I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
