is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
