i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize