Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
