Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
