Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
