I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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