you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
