He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
