last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's just like the Real World with babies
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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