she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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