if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
