you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize