im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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