hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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