I think I died a long time ago.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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