He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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