You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm like, not good at living.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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