great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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