and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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