people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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