U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
