Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize