he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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