I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
