U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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