Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
