she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
