The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
